Q: What is the funniest thing you’ve heard for an excuse after you stopped them for a traffic violation, and was it funny enough to get them off with a warning?

A: What Chief Cliff Spratlan of the West Lake Hills Police Department said the most humorous, and convincing, excuse he’s heard in his career came from a man he stopped who was driving 22 miles over the speed limit.
“I recall asking him if he had any reason for driving that fast,” Spratlan said, noting that the motorist’s reply was, ‘Would the fact that I am having hunger pains count?’
“After I stopped laughing, I said, ‘It does today.’ ”
Spratlan recalled that several of the motorists’ coworkers who were in the vehicle joined in the laughter as he proceeded to write the warning ticket.

Dude, where’s my brother’s car?
Chief Dayne Pryor of the Rollingwood Police Department recalled a youngster with a less-than-commanding understanding of traffic laws.
“The most memorable traffic stop that I ever made involved a 16-year-old boy that was traveling 15 miles an hour over the speed limit. When I stopped him, he admitted that he was speeding and stated that he was driving his brother’s car and was late returning it to him.
“When I started to write the ticket, he stopped me and stated again that he was driving his brother’s car, I told him that I was aware of that and ‘you’ will be receiving the ticket for speeding. The young man then told me, ‘Dude, only the owner of the car can receive a ticket, and if you had any brains you would already know that.’
“I took a few moments to explain the law to the young man and also how he should address me as officer instead of dude; well, to say the least, the young man did not listen and continued to try and teach me the law. When it was time for him to sign the ticket, the young man refused and told me that his father was an attorney and would never tell him to sign a bogus ticket; I told the young man to call his father and have him stop by.
“As we waited for his father, the young man laughed and told me how his dad was going have me fired and how he would sue the department for false arrest. When the father finally arrived I stayed at the back of my car and let him talk to his son; the father then grabbed his son by his ear and pulled him over to me and told him to sign the ticket.
“He then had his son apologize to me and then told me to keep his son’s drivers license because he would not need it for a long time.”