By Thomas Jones, Westlake Picayune

Visualize facing Wayne Gretzky on a breakaway. Imagine playing one-on–one with Michael Jordan. Envision locking grips with John Brzenk.

Whom, you might ask? Brzenk, the most dominant athlete in the history of professional arm wrestling and whose posters still adorn the walls of his fiercest competitors, revolutionized his sport. His mental edge over his foes, which he has developed since his debut at the age of 18, remains as sharp as broken glass. He’s Tiger Woods with a Nike Igniter under his sleeve, and he slowly sat down on the other side of the arm wrestling table and met my gaze.

Brzenk, 44, visited Austin recently for the premiere of the documentary “Pulling John” at the South By Southwest Film Festival. The film chronicled a weary and sore Brzenk as he attempted to fend of the challenges of two younger athletes eager to topple arm wrestling’s king. After the debut before a raucous crowd, Brzenk and the filmmakers hosted a party at a Sixth Street bar where the legend put on an exhibition against any eager comers.

Brzenk hoisted his massive forearm onto the table and opened his hand. He claimed to never lift weights, saying that hours and hours of arm wrestling provided enough resistance to develop his unparalled strength.

But I’d already visited the bartender for a, ahem, pep talk, and I boasted a little legacy of arm wrestling myself. I worked in a bar for years before putting down the pints and pecking on a keyboard. Arm wresting between a co-worker and myself often determined who closed the bar or who cleaned the urinals. A bulging bicep couldn’t intimidate me.

The crux of “Pulling John” focused on Brzenk’s battle with that inevitable victor called age. Tendonitis had plagued Brzenk for years, and his weariness against the aches and pains served as a backdrop in his battles with Russia’s Alexey Voevoda and West Virginia’s Travis Bagent, two super heavyweights who outweighed the 210-pound Brzenk. After the film, Brzenk admitted that he had “one foot in retirement” during the filming of “Pulling John” because of his tendonitis.

I met his palm and tried to find a way to lock my grip. Dude had a big hand, though. It didn’t stretch out and envelop like a hoops player’s; rather, it hung heavy in the air like a thick frozen side of ribs. When he gripped, his fingers tightened around my hand like a vise. “OK, first I’m gonna show you the toproll method,” he said in a flat Midwestern tone. “Ready?”

 Without revealing who wins the 2004 tournament that serves as the climax to “Pulling John,” I will allow that the film served as a rejuvenation of sorts for Brzenk. During the film, he said that he “was searching for a second wind.” Apparently, he’s found it. After struggling for a few years earlier this decade because of a series of nagging injuries, Brzenk currently sits comfortably atop the world of arm wrestling. “The film kind of re-fired me up,” he said.  

But he still had to get through me. 

Brzenk quickly curled his hand over mine to capture the leverage, a common technique in arm wrestling. But I held firm and didn’t let Brzenk pull me down. As sweat beaded on my brow and my arm began to ache, I blocked out the pain and held on. Brzenk had described arm wrestling as a “power sport” with “most matches over in a flash.” And I had withstood Brzenk’s initial assault. He soon would begin to weaken, I thought, as I tightened my grip. 

Brzenk then looked me in the eye. “OK, you can start now,” he said.

Brzenk has no illusions about his future. He’s dominated his sport for a generation, and he’s done it with an old-school approach that contrasts with the tattoos and histrionics of the younger arm wrestlers. Brzenk doesn’t glare at foes nor flex ink-covered arms. He just wins, and he does it with class. “My years are numbered,” he said. “I know that, but it’s been a fun ride and I’m going to go with it for as long as I can.”

  I got up rubbing my elbow and made it a point to shake thanks with my left hand. “Hey, you’re pretty strong,” Brzenk said. But I noticed that he said such a thing to the others that visited the arm wrestling table, too. 

You think Jordan would have complimented me after throwing down a dunk?